From Residency to Real Money: Making the Transition as a Couple

What do you do when your income doubles, triples, quadruples? Heck, this might even happen for you and your spouse or partner at the same time. How can you two navigate these massive shifts?

If you’re like most couples, you two may be opposites in many ways. A common pairing is a saver with a spender. Maybe your families had very different finances. Maybe you want kids and a house ASAP.

So, how do you find common ground? Well, the short answer is honesty and compromise. But if it were that simple, you’d have done it already. Here, I’ll share what’s worked for my clients and what I’ve learned as a Mediator and Couples Financial Counselor.

From Residency to Real Money: Making the Transition as a Couple

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Explore your experiences and mindsets around money. Consider how your socialization affected you. Of particular importance here are usually gender norms and roles. 

Discover your money story, and share it with your partner. 

Familial financial status and experiences growing up are key, as well. And be sure to look at how money stuff has gone in your past & current romantic relationships. Think through the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It can be vulnerable to share your priorities. This is especially true if you’ve gotten used to restricting yourselves, as is common in grad school. 

Sort out your personal & financial priorities, and share them with your partner

Put dedicated, quiet time on the calendar to talk about money. Turn off the devices, get connected, and dig in. Share about your current finances, your fear and worries, and your hopes and dreams.

Have regular “money dates.”

This allows you to tackle tension and head off potential fights before they fester. I recommend starting with once a week. As you get on the same page, you can move toward once a month.

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